Christmas Rant-Lite

Christmas Rant-Lite


Perhaps it’s the festive season and I’ve gone a bit soft, but there’s nothing that’s really got under my skin. I imagine the Worldwide Disclosure Facility is relevant to our readers (on the wild assumption I have any readers other than the gorgeous Epps). The Kensington, Chelsea and Westminster communities are, I would’ve thought, relatively cosmopolitan; our readers will tend to hold their fair share of overseas interests, in this case financial.

You can look up the Worldwide Disclosure Facility on the World Wide Web so I won’t Jack & Jill you. If you’ve got undeclared offshore income, or assets that may have been the product of transactions that the revenue might regard as suspect, then you need to take advice from enquiry experts. Sadly for everyone except vindictive whited sepulchres, the WDF is a pale imitation of the sensible and staggeringly successful Liechtenstein Disclosure Facility which was closed early and pointlessly, because it didn’t appeal to the hang’em and flog’ems. The WDF comes with heavy penalties if you volunteer, with presumably appropriately draconian sanctions is you don’t. HMRC will bend every clause in every line to apply the severest penalties. As a result of the WDF will be a comparative failure and collect less tax. Despite HMRC‘s protestations that this is not political, they have reverted to type and appeal to the worst envy-driven retribution. What’s even worse is the way it’s not been publicised so you’ll no doubt have missed the 30 September 2018 deadline thus boosting the penalties, although no doubt shrinking the net amount collected; apolitical? Give me a break. That or it’s such a sordid seedy grab in the back the state’s concealing its vengeance.


I hate the state and it is little solace that the UK is better than most. I suppose we don’t jail women for wearing yellow shoes, although I’d be tempted to jail any golden-shod male over 35. It’s the stupid things. Forget the persecution of small businesses forcing them to fund insane levels of staff protection. Simple stuff. It’s been outlawed so long, no one asks the question why shouldn’t you reclaim VAT and get a deduction for legitimate entertaining? If you’re the owner of a small business you’re probably the senior business generator. What you’d really like to do is go home to your spouse and children. The pen-pusher at HMRC that’s implementing these amoral rules can claim back the VAT on his or her stationery; what’s the difference between their need to write on paper and your need to sacrifice your liver to generate work? Disallowing entertainment appeals to the basic instincts of those in non-marketing roles, and no one in the state’s employment generates a real penny. I can hear the suburban jobsworths muttering “All right for some, wouldn’t we all like to eat at Magpie twice a week”. Looking at a random survey I note that 72% of sales directors work in the evenings and weekends and 67% of sales directors check email as soon as they wake up. I bet you do. Oh, sod the lot of them. Don’t let’s get started on the job tax. A small business mortgages the family home to pay rates and 13% of the gross to take people off the street, and to pay the owner so he or she can cover said mortgage, whether or not the business makes a profit, or more often before it’s even started to trade.


Good, the rant’s kicked in. Mr Angry of Tooting’s blood’s up. If you were interested, you’d do something about it. You may console yourself with the vain thought that the state won’t stuff you, but it will do sooner or later. You’re not off the radar; they just haven’t picked on you … yet. Still, you probably won’t get banged up for seven years in a middle-eastern jail for defending your sister’s yellow shoes.

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