Chelsea Nanny: Going Against The Grain


“Lysander was soo naughty today!” announces the Small One at the school gates. Tales of Lysander’s misdemeanours have got me through many dull afternoons in Chelsea so I wait for the Small One to elaborate. “He… he… he…” (the stutter is a good indicator that Lysander’s behaviour has been sufficiently subversive). “He told Miss Annabelle that he didn’t want to be a shepherd in the Nativity play because shepherds are old fashioned!”  I have a new found respect for Lysander when it transpires that the Year 3 teacher has had to write in a whole new part for him. ‘Bright Bird’ will now be singing the Silent Night solo. Bright Bird is a nativity character that every forward-thinking parent will be able to get on board with. No more compliant Marys relying on Joseph’s poor negotiating skills.

The Small One’s friend is not the only child riding a wave of rebellion this week. The Middle One has defiantly declared that she wants to cut her long hair into a ‘midi-bob’. I had to text one of my fashion-forward friends to find out exactly what that is. Apparently the Middle One’s decision has caused uproar amongst her classmates. The Christmas concert is fast approaching and the Middle One is supposed to be making up one fifth of a Little Mix cover group. They will be performing the latest chart-topping, vomit-inducing single. Midi length hair goes against everything the copycat girl group represents. I tell the Middle One that I support her decision, much to American Mom’s chagrin. I seem to have inherited my grandmother’s belief that all children below the age of thirteen should have practical haircuts.

The Eldest is also experimenting with an alternative style. In the lead up to the family’s Christmas ski trip in Verbier, he has become addicted to watching footage of freestyle skiers on YouTube and decided that theirs is a look he wants to emulate. Last week he managed to swap a Medium size T-shirt for a Triple XL one without me noticing on a shopping trip in Westfield. American Mom still hasn’t forgiven me. I am, however, firmly in the Eldest’s good books – new and enjoyable territory for me. I’m appreciating this development so much that I manage to control the urge to point out the impracticalities of wearing a T-shirt that reaches below the knee. On another note, I’m tempted to buy something similar to wear as cool nightwear. At least I know what to get myself for Christmas.

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